Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist #48023
2443 Fillmore Street, #545, San Francisco, CA 94115
Transitions can be uncomfortable ends
followed by hopeful new beginnings.
Separation & Divorce
Most divorce mediators and attorneys would agree that the less conflict there is between parents, the better off their children will be. If you are currently going through the process or considering separation, it may be very useful to know what to expect each step of the way and how to process all the varying decisions.
Conflict is inherent in separation and divorce, particularly when there are minor children involved, making co-parenting very difficult. Co-parent work focus on agreements between parents in the best interest of the children. I specialize in coparenting relationship issues, parenting agreements/plans, child specialty work, high-conflict divorce, separations, and divorces. I also am able to work closely with lawyers and other mediators to help couples separate in the best way possible.
I focus on helping couples think about the complex issues that separation and divorce create. I also help each couple consider the choices they have in front of them such as telling their children, schedules that work, as well as helping each partner communicate their needs and wants throughout this process, especially as conflict arises. Developing a process of how to address these issues will be very important in creating peace and moving forward in your life.
Though I don’t currently mediate divorces, I am trained as a divorce mediator and coach and understand most of the ins and outs that can be in any one divorce. As mentioned earlier, I specialize in working with attorneys and other mediators to help determine physical custody agreements, especially when younger children are involved. I also specialize in co-parenting plans that fit your family’s needs, keep conflict to a minimum and allow for growth in your family. In some cases, I am called in as a child specialist which helps lawyers and mediators understand your child’s or teenager’s voice throughout this process. This is not therapy as its focus is on the goals and interests of what one’s child or teenager describe, allowing parents to rethink their positions.
And, finally, sometimes if your coparent won’t work with you or you don’t want to work with them – the best coparent work is done by yourself. I work with many mom’s or dad’s individually, coaching them through the process in a way that maintains their integrity while keeping their sanity.
Please contact me to discuss your needs and together we can determine what role I might be most helpful in. You can also find out more about me at: www.coparentingwell.com, which is my divorce website.
Coparent Coaching & Agreements
As conflict is inherent in any separation and divorce, particularly when there are minor children involved, co-parenting can be difficult. Co-parent coaching focuses on agreements between parents in the best interest of the child/ren. I work hard to see if parents can find agreements themselves and offer practical and creative solutions when it becomes difficult to think together. I can also provide recommendations for your family as well as find solutions that work best for your family’s needs.
Some examples of issues addressed are schedules, vacations, transitions between one parent to another, phone calls, limit setting, developmental issues, consistency between homes, substance abuse, school decisions, boundaries around dating, the introduction of new partners, and mental illness concerns.
We all wish for our children to be resilient and true to themselves. Decreasing the conflict between separated, divorced, or divorcing parents is an initial and crucial first step in accomplishing this – which can open up pathways in the renegotiation of family relationships post-separation and divorce.
Parent & Individual Divorce Coaching
There are times when parents need help individually. It can be extremely valuable to have someone to think with about your child(ren), the impact of the divorce, and how you can make it easier on them. And there are also times when meeting 1-1 with a divorce specialist is key to navigating your coparent relationship. Help with writing emails, preparing for a mediation, clarifying your asks with your joint coparent specialist or attorney…the list is endless.
In other cases, I’m called upon from an attorney or the courts to help a parent build a relationship with their child/ren. This can be when a child is being reconciled with a parent after removal from a home or with a parent who is looking to increase physical custody after time has been reduced. I work closely with the team of professionals involved in a family’s life and work thoughtfully to provide the most useful feedback to the parent, lawyer, or parent coordinator. It may only be that I meet with a parent for a while before introducing a child into the process. Whatever the needs are, I work thoughtfully with a team of professionals, if present, or with a parent seeking help.
Child Specialist
I have worked with children for nearly 20 years. I have received special training around development, attachment, trauma, and childhood disorders. I am also well versed in how divorce affects children and teens at varying developmental stages and what can make the most positive impact on a child during and post-divorce. I will work closely with attorneys, mediator, or collaborative team in helping your child’s voice be heard.
When I work in the role of a child specialist, I am a neutral person to both parents. The process includes interviewing your children with the intention of providing them a safe place to talk about their experience of the divorce. By keeping in mind their developmental needs and how children, in general, are affected by divorce, I will suggest to you and the professional members of your team what factors are important to consider as you all move forward to create a parenting plan and custody agreements.